


The Pride Of The Rahab

by TheEvilInThisChild666



Category: Homestuck, Runaways (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Comedy, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Demons, F/F, Femslash, Fish Puns, Jealousy, Mild Sexual Content, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 05:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 22,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19419139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEvilInThisChild666/pseuds/TheEvilInThisChild666
Summary: A soon-to-be demon empress takes interest in a peasant girl...nothing complicated will come out of that probably.





	1. Gill Meets Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with an unwanted crossover pairing! I'm actually excited to be working on a new fic, especially one that involves the dumbest otp I had in my head for years. So, y'all ready for a tale that mixes "A Knight's Tale" with "The Little Mermaid""? I'm not! Let's go!

"Pfffffttt..."

I tried to see how fast and how loud I can make my lips move while on the throne. I admit, there are better things I could be doing but unfortunately, I did them all already! I completed all my scrolls, I attended every stupid meeting today and I even trained with my general until I can hear my bones cracking! I do have an appointment today but I can't attend it for another five...

Huh? Who am I?

Oh sorry, I tend to ramble on about myself way too much. It's a bad habit of mine. Allow me to fix my arrogance by introducing myself.

My name is Feferi Peixes and I am a princess of Hell. Specifically, I reside in the Palace of Gehenna. It's located in the abyss of the ocean and is surrounded by dozens of giant, ravenous but above all else, cute creatures call Leviathans. However, their power pale in comparison to mine, the princess whose exploits in battle have earned her the title of "Rahab"! You see, besides being super strong, super tough, super fast and just all around super pretty, I have power over life itself, which means that I can affect the bodies of many different creatures. I can heal, wound, empower or weaken a person just by being near them! Isn't that neat?

You don't have to answer. I know that it's super neat. You must imagine that being so awesome, I must be bored out of my skull all the time. And you'd be 95% right! I am super bored nearly all the time! I've been experiencing ennui on and off again for the last 16 years I've been breathing! However, recently I found something...or rather, someone...who has caught my interest...

"Your highness, not to bother you too much but are you going to make those sounds all day? I did just come back from a battlefield and I already miss the sound of that guy who was gored by a lance going up his ass."

I sighed as I began to already miss my solitude. My annoying but very much needed advisor Terezi approached my throne. Wearing the skin of a rotting dragon as a cloak over her strips of damned flesh covering her private bits, she scratched under the red cloth covering her "eyes". Sea-esh! She always acts like she's so much cooler than me. 

She might actually be, but she doesn't need to rub it in my face all the time.

"No, I was just stopping." I greeted her snark with a smile. "Actually, I'm glad you came. Can you let everybody know that I'll be gone for the next hour or so?"

"The next hour? You do remember you're suppose to take over as empress soon, right?" She sounded serious but she was using her pinkie to dig something out of her right nostril. How vile. "Don't you feel like you have more important things to be doing?"

I hopped off the throne, landing right in front of her. Somehow, she didn't seem to be intimidated by the difference in our power or by the fact that I had at least two inches on her. "My dearest advisor, what makes you think that I am off to do something unimportant? There is a good chance that I am in fact off to scout the human world for future conquering opportunities."

She looked as unconvinced as a girl not looking at anything in particular can look. "Well, that seems like information that the elders would love to hear. Also, I know you hate scouting and you look way too happy when you return from your visits to have been doing anything that approaches scouting." 

Ugh. Such a smart-ass.

"Okay! If you know that, figure out how to inform others of why I won't be in for some time. Bay-bye!" I could hear her curse under her breath as I skipped away. It made my escape all the more satisfying.

I hummed a happy tune as I headed to palace gates. Most demons would need a couple of hours or even a day to make it to the portal outside but with my speed and strength, it simply became a matter of minutes. I was still skipping through a room of writhing, moaning pillars made up of damned souls when I was suddenly tackled by an unknown assailant. Normally, my reflexes would be more than enough to destroy anything that dared to ambush me but there are two reasons why i couldn't. One, I now this unknown assailant and two, she is much too cute to destroy. 

"Nepeta pounces on her beloved empress, ready to claim the throne for herself!" She giggled as she held me down, not really acting surprised when I lifted her into the air using my feet.

"Feferi easily fends off yet another assassination attempt while reminding Nepeta that she isn't the empress yet!" I looked up at her while balancing her on my soles. She was wearing a cloth made from stringy hair taken from various corpses which complemented her decapitated lion headwear. She was also wearing her 40-karat grin. 

"Nepeta realizes her mistakes and begs for mercy from her powerful princess!" It was the hardest thing I did today to keep from laughing as I lowered her back onto the floor.

"Feferi decides to forgive her beloved assassin's transgression, just this once." I stood up as I giggled, acting as if this wasn't the 350th "forgiving" I haven't done already.

"Are you heading out already? I really wanted to show you my additions to the wall..." She gave me a near irresistible pout but my spirit was resolute.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I'll be back soon so you can show me then, okay? Give Equius my regards!" I said before running off, pushing the 50 foot palace doors out of the way as I was sprinting through.

Through the magic of damnation, my palace was not immediately flooded as I stepped outside into the water. Instead, I immediately swam up towards a bright light above, waving at the leviathans as I did. The light grew brighter and brighter as I approached and as soon as I blinked, I was above water near a mass of land covered by a thick forest. As I swam towards it, I wondered when I started doing this. It was a year, no, two years ago. My ex-lover informed of a human settlement with a disproportionate number of Witchborn. Absolutely loving the arcane arts for obvious reasons, I went to check it out. Unfortunately, it turned out to be just another human settlement. The Witchborn were kept under the thumb of their weaker rulers, executed for showing signs of anything that went against the law of man. Already disappointed by the small-mindedness of man, I was ready to head back to the palace when I saw her.

Her. The girl whose hut I am headed to right now.

Now, there is absolutely nothing remarkable about this girl. Sure, she might be a bit strong and she might have well-defined muscles for a female of her species and she has a radiant smile...but that's not the point I'm making here. The point is, she is at the lowest rung of her society's ladder. She has absolutely nothing to look forward to in the later years of her life. She is doomed to live and die in this pitiful settlement with no one remembering her or her deeds.

So why does she look so content?

She tends to her farm, feeds her animals and fixes her huts. Sometimes her friends help her but she mostly does everything alone. Yet, she looks so _happy_ every time I see her. What's the deal with her? I've been trying to figure that out for the last two years I've been watching her.

Oh. That came out wrong.

You see, let me make one thing clear. I am **not** stalking this girl. She's just a human who has happening to catch my interest. Simple as that. I have no interest in her romantically or even physically...that much. I'm just people-watching...with only one person. I just want to know how somebody can look so content doing the simplest of deeds. I won't rest until I find out!

It was easy to climb aboard her weak wooden fence to watch her tend to her cow. The sun was just coming out and I know that she had been working since dawn because I can see the sweat beginning to glisten on her olive skin. She was just milking it, nothing too strenuous so I suppose most of her toughest chores had already been completed. Still, it's rare that I get a look at her appearing so...busy so I leaned in closer for a better look. This was the gravest mistake I ever made because the aforementioned weakness of the fence gave way beneath me and I faceplanted on the stone in front of me. 

For the first time in Cod knows how long, I panicked. Humans aren't supposed to see demons unless the demon is there to take something. What am I supposed to tell her when she comes over? I don't want to kill her. Should I kidnap her? How am I explain to the court why I have a human with me in the palace? Am I keeping her for practice? Practice for what? What if she comes to the same conclusion a stranger would if they found out I've been watching her for two years?

"Are you alright?" A surprisingly gentle voice brought my head out of the stone as I locked eyes with hers. She was wearing a face that mixed curiosity with concern as she peered at me with eyes as green as the grass that surrounded us. She doesn't look frightened. She must thing I'm a particularly sick human. That's it! I play this off with kidnapping or killing anybody! The horns? I was in a play in the village. The gills? The result of an infection. I was so ecstatic over my stroke of good fortune I barely noticed her eyes drifting downwards. 

"Wow...I think I should be asking the stone that."

I looked down and noticed that not only had my faceplant completely shattered the stone I fell on, it left a imprint of my face in the ground.

...Carp.


	2. Don't Be Lame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's simple: she just has to explain herself. Nothing too complicated, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Rahab rises from the sea with another chapter. Should be even shorter but who knows right?

Okay, don't freak out now. Just stand up and remind her of her place as a human.

So I stood up, took a deep breath and said...

"If you wish to---KAFF!"

I spat up the dirt that I accidentally took into my mouth when I hit the ground. She saw that. She saw every second of that. I just stared at her expression, looking for any sign of shock, fear or worse, _amusement_. Instead, she still had this look of curiosity on her face. Wasn't my appearance striking terror into her very heart? Gray skin, yellow eyes, horns, black lips, razor sharp teeth and mortifying gills! What kind of girl wouldn't run from such a powerful looking demon?

"Are you from across the ocean?" She asked, no real sarcastic tone in her voice. My previously mortified expression turned into one of confusion. Is this farm girl an idiot?

"No, I'm a demon. Moron." It would have been in my best interests to agree with her but I just couldn't lie to her for some reason. Be it out of pride or pity.

"Oh. I suppose that makes sense." She just saw the most otherworldly figure in her entire life but she looked like she just saw a deer or something. "Are you here to take my soul?"

"Pfft. What makes you think the soul of a peasant is worth anything to an empress?" I put on a haughty tone as I flipped my hair. It may have come off a little harsh, but I really don't like the stereotype that all demons are after mortal's souls. Especially considering that isn't even my area of expertise in the empire.

"Yeah, you're probably right." She snorted before continuing. "Are you here to kill me?"

That's an interesting question. "So what if I am?"

She rolled up her sleeve and actually flexed her arm at me, showing an admittingly impressive but totally not hot mass of muscle erupting from that limb. "I don't know if I'll win but I'll fight you like a cornered rat."

She's...she's challenging me? Me, the heiress who has been killing beings hundreds of times her mass since she was a baby? Me, the demon that can challenge any of the upper echelon of Elders? Me, the all-powerful Rahab?

This girl, she's completely... _ **ADORABLE!!!**_

"I wouldn't dream of...I mean, I have no intention of fighting someone so much weaker than I am. You can put...that...away." 

She nodded and rolled her sleeve back down, to my partial disappointment. I took another step closer. She was surprisingly tall for a human female, easily dwarfing me by over half a foot. I smirked up at her as I decided to work my charms.

"It's not as if demons need souls. Some things are more valuable to mortals than that. I mean, surely there's something you want that you'll part with something of lesser importance for?"

"Something I want?" She actually appeared to think about it for a moment. "And what do you want in return?"

"Oh, don't think of it as something I'm taking." I crooned as I reached out to touch her cheek. "Think of it as an experience I'm giving you. Something that you can never forget for the rest of you lif---"

_**RRRRRRRRRRRR** _

I snatched my hand back as I twisted my head around, looking for the source of the noise. It was after a few seconds that I realized that the noise came from me. I did something that it is forbidden for any demon to do: I prayed. I prayed for the Earth to open up and swallow me whole and send me to the temple where I can go to my chambers and hide under my covers for 1, no, 2,000 years.

"Are you hungry? Demons get hungry?" She asked as she looked down at me. How dare she. Humans have no right to ask about the welfare of a superior species. If I had half a mind, I would put her in a leg lock so quickly that---

"Hey, what are you doing?!" I was cut off from my outraged thoughts by my hand being grabbed as I dragged over to her dingy wooden hut. I struggled. I actually struggled in her grasp as she opened the door with me in tow. When did humans get this strong? How is she stronger than a being who can literally juggle whales? 

This is it. She has forced me inside her house and now she's going to do Cod knows what with me. She has already seen me in several states of weakness. She knows that I am not as all powerful as I appear to be. I could use my abilities over Life on her but she's probably too strong for them to work! Inside, I can see several chairs against the wall and one near the table. There was a pot over a fireplace and a cabinet on the far end of the room. Oh my Cod, does she want to eat me? No, she isn't foolish enough to assume any tools can properly prepare me. I rattled my head as I tried to figure out her intentions. Does she mean to...conquer me?

I gulped at the thought. I already informed you that my thoughts towards her does not veer in that direction. The idea of her stripping me, tossing me on a cot and forcing any sound she can out of me quite frankly repulses me! Holding myself against her as I feel her strength overtake me feels my soul with bile! Terezi even informed that humans reproduce with mates of the opposite sex so why would she---

It has now occurred to me that she had let go of my hand a while ago and was now getting something out of the cabinet. It was wrapped a bag of some sort and when she pulled it out, I saw that it was half a loaf of bread. She handed it in my direction.

"I don't know if it's filling enough but you can have the rest of this." She offered with a smile.

I should have refused. A soon-to-be empress should have more pride than to accept a simple morsel from a human. And yet, I spat out a meek "Thank you..." as I took it and immediately bit into it. I felt tears streaming down my face as I began to chew. This human just shared what little food she had with a complete stranger. A stranger she had been taught to perceive as evil her entire life. At least, I assume so considering the art I've seen of demons the time I went into the village. Either way, the woman I silently regarded as a brute has just showed me more virtue than an angel. I haven't felt such warmth since my mother---

"Hey, take a seat. Maybe you won't cry so much if you rest." She gestured to the chair behind me as she took one from near the wall and sat herself at the table.

I sniffled as I sat down. "First of all, I'm not crying. This is a way for demons to clean their faces before they eat a meal." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand before continuing. "Second of all, aren't you committing a sin by inviting a demon into your home?"

"Sin? I dunno. Maybe? I don't really know all my sins. You gotta admit, there are a lot of them." She rest her chin on her hand as she watched me eat. "What's your name?"

I should lie. "Feferi. Feferi Peixes." Damn it.

"My name is Molly. Molly Hayes." She smiled again. That smile, it's more intoxicating than any ale I have taken in the palace. I don't think that I will ever be able to get enough of it.

"How old are you Molly?" I inquired. My general has informed that this question is a common "ice-breaker" among humans.

"17. And you?"

"16. But I have you outpaced in experience so don't get too arrogant." Wow. I just have to win at everything, don't I? I should ask her another question.

"Do you live here by yourself?" I had to know about her. How can a simple human do this to a demon as powerful as me?

She scratched at the top of her head, somehow not bothered by the appearance of her long frizzled hair. "Kind of. I have friends who come over at night to check up on me. They're basically my family."

"Family?" Then why don't they live closer? "Are they your brothers and sisters?" 

"Sort of. We do tend to spend a lot of time together. We've been hanging out since I was a little girl."

I chuckled softly at the thought of her being "little".

"What about you?" She asked while scanning me with her emerald eyes. "Do you have a family?"

"Demons don't have families, stupid." I wrapped up the bread that I was just feasting on in the bag in it came in. "I have subjects, allies and advisors."

"Oh. That's neat, I guess." She didn't sound awfully impressed for some reason. Having embarrassed myself for the fifth time today. I thought that it was finally time to get back. I stood up and "dusted" off my fuschia dress. 

"I thank you for your hospitality, however ill-advised it was, but I must get going. Thanks for the bread."

"Keep it." She said as soon as I finished talking. She is aware that I live underwater, right? What am I supposed to do with wet bread? It's barely useful as a gesture of ill-will, let alone food.

I took the wrapped up bread and headed for the door. I was halted by a "Wait!" coming from behind me. Molly had stood up from her seat and was giving me an odd look.

"Will you come back tomorrow?" Her voice almost sounded like she was...pleading?

Ha! I knew that no mortal was immune to my charms. Alas, I was in enough trouble as it is. She had seen my face, heard my name and knows my position. If this information gets out, we will both be in a ship-load of trouble...

Which is why I'll make sure it won't get out.

"Not all the holy artifacts in the world can keep me away, Molly." I grinned at her before walking out her door. "Have a broth ready for me next time!" 

I felt like skipping as I left the farm. My final sight of Molly smiling and waving as I left felt with joy that I didn't know that I was capable of experiencing. I leaped into the ocean as I thought of how, despite living in the depths, I can finally see the sun every time I think of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simple. Nothing bad can come of this.


	3. It's Not A Date And It's None Of Your Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi and Molly deepen their friendship as more people notice their interactions...and take umbrage with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I ain't got that much to do so I'll work on another chapter. So this belongs to ye turkeys.

I'm pretty sure demons aren't supposed to feel this happy. I mean, we are allowed to be happy but only when we're doing supposedly "evil" things like torture, warmongering or spoiling milk. But for the last few weeks, I've been on cloud nine thanks to Molly. We've tended to the animals, we planted seeds, we ate together and we've even chopped wood! 

Molly even told me things about herself that no one else knows. She has several tomes in her house despite the fact that she can't read because she likes to look at the illustrations. I offered to teach her the text and she even accepted! She's making amazing progress for a girl with no prior education. She also told me she likes to collect caps she finds discarded in the forest. Why are there so many caps in the forest? Who cares? She looked great in the one she put on. 

She also informed me that her parents were accidentally slaughtered in a pact with a demon gone wrong and that's why she has to live away from the other villages. "Eventually, the stones they throw start to leave marks." She joked. I wondered if I knew the demon that her parents made a deal with but then I started thinking about who would throw stones at a little girl for being related to a warlock and how they were feel if they were permanently fused to a donkey. 

Anyway, I've been spending so much time with her, I can barely remember what I do when I'm in the palace. The days seem like a blur because I'm counting the minutes until I get to see her. I do my paperwork, finish my training and I just...wait. Wait until I get to see the sun again. Of course, that won't do so I proceeded to pick up an old hobby. I started painting the walls with bright colors depicting the smaller marine life that surrounding the palace walls. I didn't think I was making that much noise until someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"Your Highness?" A familiar regal contralto got my attention rather quickly. It was my treasured general, Kanaya. She was even taller than Molly with a figure that looked like it should have been continued on a different demon. Her imposing aura was only matched by her beauty, the sharp features complemented by her jade lips and eyes that acted as a gateway to the stars themselves. She was dressed casually, a simple green dress that covered everything except for her arms. Oddly enough, it didn't appear to be made from any material you can find in the palace..." _Your Highness_."

"Huh? I'm sorry, were you saying something?" I hope my description didn't distract me from anything important. 

"I was trying to get your attention. You were humming while painting the walls and when I called you, you faced me as I talked to you while you were still humming."

"Oh..." I have got to be more aware of my surroundings. This is shaping up to be the Filter situation all over again.

"Your Highness, I am very concerned." She did appear genuinely troubled. I better actually pay attention.

"You know that I will help you with anything I can, Kanaya. I value your opinion almost as much as I value Terezi's. And you can just call me Feferi when we're alone."

"Right...Feferi, Terezi has informed me that you have been making frequent unscheduled trips to the human world."

"...That little snitch!" She sighed. "Please take this seriously. If the Elders find out that you are visiting the human world for any reason other than mayhem, they could have you...evaluated."

I successfully suppressed a gulp at the thought of an evaluation. Something similar happened to my old playmate Aradia when she was younger and she wasn't the same for years. "Even if I was, what would make you think I'd be dumb enough to leave behind evidence of my actions?"

"You are aware of the Trackers, are you not?" She crossed her arms in frustration. "Accuser forbid that they find you gallivanting around with some mortal..." 

That got a twitch from me. "A mortal? What mortal? I've never seen one of those things in my life. Why would I even know what that is? How do I know _you're_ not the one playing with some mortal like a seahorse in a mating frenzy?"

I didn't expect to get an actual shocked reaction out of her with that last accusation. She looked at me like I just accused her of treason. I was so surprised that I was going to apologize before she recovered and cleared her throat.

"Right...well, whatever it is you are up to, make sure that you are careful about it." She turned around and left the throne room before I could say anything back.

That was weird. But it doesn't matter because after a few hours, I was off to see Molly again. The route was a normal swim and walk but the minute I stepped onto the farm, I knew something was wrong. There were voices coming from Molly's house and while hers was among them, the other two I couldn't recognize. It sounded like they were...arguing? Are they debt collectors? Maybe somebody is buying something from Molly and they are trying to cheat her out of what she is owed? Have any of the chickens learned how to talk?

I kept pondering until I heard something tumble over and crash on the floor. They were robbers! They were trying to steal from my Molly! I immediately sprinted over to the door and pushed it open, ready to tear apart anyone who would defile this place. Much to my surprise, there were not signs of a struggle. I only found Molly with two other girls who, judging by their appearances and Molly's earlier descriptions during our conversations, must be Nico and Karolina. 

Nico was wearing a stringy black dress matched by stringier short black hair. Her appearance was of an Asian nature so I assume that she wasn't born in the village. The girl to her right had fairer features with long blonde hair and was wearing a drab but practical white dress. Both of them were viewing me with looks of suspicion that quickly turned into looks of horror as they pushed Molly behind them.

"A demon!" shouted Nico as she suddenly slammed her hand on the table, creating a cut on her hand. I was confused by this action until a staff started to protrude from her chest. Wait a minute...the Staff of One? Molly's friend is a witch?

"Stay back, Molly!" Karolina's skin began to glow like the colors of the rainbow as her right hand started to glow with a barely recognizable energy. A faeborn?! She knows someone who was born of the Fae?!

"Wait!" Molly darted in front of me to shield me. Not that I really needed her protection but the gesture was appreciated. "This is the girl I was telling you about! This is Feferi."

"...Your friend is a demon?" Nico said in disbelief, already holding the staff that just came out of her. I grinned and waved from behind Molly. From personal experience, I know another great way to break the ice is with some humor.

"Hi! I'm Feferi and I plan on marrying this girl. I assume you'll be wanting a dowry of some sort?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure that'll work out. Thanks for reading.


	4. It's Barely A Coven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi meets a witch...and then a fae...and then another witch...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on introducing this character last chapter but it felt better to end it on a different note. So this chapter might be shorter for that reason. Who knows? Not the writer, that's for sure.

"So, let me see if I can move the stars and try to get this straight..."

Nico wasn't facing any of us as we all sat at the table. Her arms were folded as she was staring down at the wood in front of her. Her staff was awkwardly leaned up against the wall behind her as she tapped her fingers against her arm.

"...You've been stalking my friend for some time apparently..."

"I've made it perfectly clear that I did not stalk her!" The nerve of this woman! How many times do I have to explain this? "I just happened to encounter her on my walks and I just watched her for a bit, that's all."

"Huh? Watched me?" Molly was seated next to me and gave me an odd look. "I don't remember you mentioning that part..."

"And on another note, I didn't even know anything about her before I introduced myself to her a few weeks ago. So even if I am a stalker, it's clear that I'm a poor one."

Everybody seated at the table was silent, clearly in awe of my superior reasoning skills. I smirked at my own victory before Nico continued.

"Whatever your intentions were, you, a high-ranking demon empress-in-training befriended a young farm girl because you were bored? You expect us to believe that?"

"Being a high-ranking demon empress-in-training, I believe that I can do whatever I wish with mortals. If I want to befriend one, that's my own business." 

Nico was already aware that she had lost our debate as Karolina chimed.

"I know that you must think that all humans are stupid, but I assure you that we are far from it. We know that demons have been coming up and recruiting humans for Heaven knows what lately."

Recruiting? "What on the Above Earth are you talking about?" 

Nico gave her a look that implied she really shouldn't speak any further but Karolina continued. "Fairly recently, another outcast from the village has been accused of meeting with a demon and there is some fairly, excuse the term, damning evidence."

The hell? Another demon meeting with a human? Cod knows they aren't under my employ. Most of the people in my circle are too young and too ingrained with the same hatred of humans we have all been taught. "What evidence are we talking about?"

Nico sighed. "Aside from a previously asocial girl entertaining a complete stranger, the stranger was noted to have odd colored skin, a bizarre height for someone with a clearly female figure, and had the aura of a wild beast than that of a mortal woman."

...Yeah, that's definitely not one of mine. Must be from a different section of hell. Someone who works directly under an Elder perhaps? There's a chance it could be Vriska. She's sort of tall. There's absolutely no way it could be the former elder...

"I want you to take me to see this girl." I declared. Whatever the nature of these liaisons are, it can cause trouble for me and Molly in the near future. If too many people observe demons interacting with humans, it can lead to a very awkward discussion with the elders...oh, and another war. We can't have that.

"There's no way we can do that!" Nico stood from her seat. "We've already violated this girl's privacy. Now we're supposed to lead you over to her home so that you can do whatever it is you plan on doing to her?"

I gave her a displeased pout. "Are you disobeying a direct demand from royalty? You humans sure have gotten more prideful in last few centuries..."

Nico simply grabbed her staff and pointed it at me. Karolina noticeably gulped before her skin began to glow again. I sighed as I rose from my seat. I really didn't intend on harming any of Molly's friends but if I let everybody treat as if I'm just a regular being of darkness...

"Stop it, all of you!" Molly spoke up again, wearing an unfamiliar expression of annoyance on her face. For whatever reason, I sat down again and, after a few seconds, so did Nico. "Fighting isn't going to get us anywhere. Feferi just wants to check on the girl, not eat her or anything like that. It's nothing that we need to lose our heads about."

Well, eating her might be a bit much but the girl was probably not going to like what I had in store for her if she was doing anything I deemed inappropriate with another demon. However, with Molly vouching for my diplomacy skills, I resolved to make sure that no violence will occur during our visit. If worst comes to worst, I can always just execute the demon instead.

"If the empress promises to behave, we will lead her to the residence of the girl. But she can't raise a hand against her." Karolina's skin returned to its former tone as she made her attempt at an ultimatum.

"I don't make promises with mortals but you have my word that no harm will come to the girl." I raised my hand as a pacifying gesture. Nico simply rolled her eyes as she stood up again.

"We'll have to take the long route if we want to avoid the village. I'm sure you don't mind a mild trek through the forest?"

"I would have born in one if I could." I grinned as Molly stifled a laugh.

After a trek that honestly felt like it could have taken no less than an hour, we finally arrived at a small house surrounded by stones on all sides, only slightly bigger than Molly's house. Taking a deep breath, Nico walked up to the door and knocked. After a few seconds, a chilly tone greeted the knocks. "What do you want?"

"Rose, it's Nico. I uh, I brought company."

"How kind of you to invite others over without going through the trouble of consulting me first. Your charity knows no bounds, Miss Minoru." Seash. This Rose girl sounds like a real angelfish from the sound of her voice.

"It's not like that, Rose. One of our guests might be a friend of your...friend's?"

After ten seconds of silence, the door slowly opened to reveal a tired yet oddly ethereal looking girl. Her hair was a duller blonde than Karolina's and her eyes were as pink as the coral surrounding the castle. She was wearing a black and white dress with faded red stains. I stepped closer to get a better look only for her eyes to widen as she saw me.

"A demon..." She muttered as I waved at her.

"Hello Rose. I'm Feferi. Let me start off by saying you're not in trouble."

"I'm not worried about myself..." She turned to walk inside. "You all might as well come in."

After exchanging several looks, we all followed her inside. Her demeanor changed immediately when she saw me. Does she already know who I am? Is she that concerned about whoever it is she's meeting with?

Is the demon really somebody from my circle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A person scorned due to their nature. Hilarity distilled.


	5. How I Met Your General

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose describes her first meeting with a familiar face. Also, awkwardness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one to keep my sanity. Who knows? Maybe this one will get the actual plot started. Doubtful though.

"I cannot begin to remind you how pleased I am with your decision to bring all of these people into my humble abode, Nico."

Rose is still snarky and I am still no closer to finding out the identity of the demon who has been cavorting with this girl. Her home was tidier than Molly's and therefore, much less cozy. Her table was against the wall with only two chairs seated at it. Thanks to that, we were seated on the floor near the pot over the kindling. She had a large shelf adorned with tomes and scriptures from places that she couldn't have gotten in the village. Her wall had drawings of arcane circles on it, some of which I recognize but a few that confused me, particularly the one that looked like lyrics to a flyting and a mark that resembled a dog's paw print.

"Again, I'm sorry about that." Nico was sitting on her butt with her legs spread. I was almost taken aback by how unladylike she was acting as opposed to me, lying down on my stomach with my feet in the air. "For some reason, the identity of the demon is important to Feferi for some reason."

"Wait, before we get to that..." I raised my hand as if I was still taking my lessons. "I want to know how you two met." 

"How is that important?!" Nico protested as Molly giggled.

"I'm just curious. It's not often you see two witches in the same place."

Rose sighed. "We met at a coven a couple of years ago. My friend Jade insisted that I go to "Get out of the house." I did not enjoy my experience. Everyone there were too...fanatic. Nico was the only one I kept in contact with."

I nodded, understanding the experience of bad gatherings completely. Nico just groaned. "Can you please tell us about your demon already?"

Rose frowned at that question. "To start, she is not "my demon". She is much more than that. I have a hard time believing anyone can claim her in any way."

So she's female. That narrows the list of suspects down. I think I would have flipped my lid if I found out _he_ was making passes at mortals again...

"A year ago, I was gathering materials for a divination session in the woods. Unfortunately, I didn't keep a good eye on my surroundings because I was quickly snatched by several men who let me know they had been following me since I left the house. Lucky for me, I had let my brother know what I was planning on doing that day so he was able to rally my two other friends to come and assist me. Unluckily for me, the kidnappers had taken me out of village limits to a secluded spot near the sea, making sure that the others would have a considerably more difficult time finding me."

"That sounds awful!" Molly covered her mouth in a surprisingly dainty way for a girl of her build. "Were they slavers?"

"That was my first guess but no. They were warlocks who were trying to make a pact with a powerful demon. They said they need virgin blood to summon a high-ranking one. I told them that if they wanted virgin blood, they should found me before I had a stolen ale liaison with a long haired friend of mine but they responded that my sexual history is not required for the summoning. They just need blood that has never been used in a ritual before."

"...But you're a witch. You should know what they mean by virgin blood, right?" I inquired.

"Yes, but I was hoping they didn't know that." She gave me an annoyed look before continuing. Hey, I'm not the one who tried to trick experienced warlocks. "I lied and told them that I had already used my blood in a scrying spell the previous night but they insisted on checking. Sure enough, when my wrist was cut over the circle, a bright light almost immediately rose from the ground. I remember the screams, limbs flying everywhere, and the sound of something vibrating. When I was able to get my vision to settle, I saw a tall figure covered in blood standing before me. She kneeled down to face me and..."

She paused for a minute as everyone, myself included, stared at her completely rapt.

"And...?" I impatiently implored for her to continue.

"...She was the most beautiful woman...no, the most beautiful person I've seen in my life. Eyes as green as the foliage, sharp yet soft features, jade lips...she told me she was sent to execute the warlocks for going back on a previous deal with another demon. I was told that I was free to go. Then, I spoke the most embarrassing thing I ever spoke in my life."

It was my turn to giggle as Karolina reassured her, "I'm sure whatever you said wasn't that embarrassing..."

"I asked her if she would come home with me." A clear flush was visible on her cheeks as she looked directly at us, daring us to say something. Molly's and my cheeks were distended as Nico audibly cringed. Karolina cleared her throat before asking, "Continue?"

"She gave me a look of surprise before we both heard my name being called. When I turned to see Jade and the others running towards me, she was already gone. My wounds were soon treated and I was back in my home shortly but I never forgot her. I thought of her every night to the point that I strongly considered trying to summon her myself despite how difficult it is to summon a specific demon. However, I still possessed my legendary good fortune as a week later, there was a knock on my door at midnight. When I asked who it was, I heard, "You asked me if I could come here?". I opened the door and there she was, clad in odd garments and looking better than the day I first saw her. I invited her in and...that was the start of our renedezvous."

I see. It appears this witch had designs on the demon...wait, jade lips? Sharp yet soft features? Tall? Oh no...

"We would meet many nights after that...and a few mornings. I started to introduce her to items from our world and she would teach things that I didn't know about the arcane arts, the world around us, love..."

"Rose!" I found myself shouting, managing startle everyone seated. "This demon...was her name Kanaya?" 

"...Ah, you must be the empress then." Rose almost casually responded.

"She's been talking about me?"

"Yes...well, nothing too negative. Just the things you have her do and your recent mysterious absences..." She gave Molly a quick, all-too-knowing glance. "Although I suppose we all know the answer to that mystery now."

I was stunned. My own general was mixing it up with some witch if not doing more than that! I can't believe this. Kanaya is a paragon of procedure back in the palace. If the others were to find out about this affair, It'll...

"...I have to go." I stood up and went for the door. I have to make sure that no one finds out about this. If Kanaya were found out, there would be no "evaluation". Her position would call for immediate execution. 

"Feferi." I was already out the door when Rose called after me. She was standing with her hands folded in front of her dress, her eyes giving off a pleading aura. "Please...if I have to stop seeing her, I will. Will any harm come to Kanaya if the others were to find out?"

"...Nobody will find out." I answered as I left her small estate. The sound of footsteps behind alerted me to Molly's presence. "Molly, I just need to head home for a bit. I'll be back soon."

"Okay...but do you need me to walk you back? It is kind of dark out."

I laughed out loud at the thought of needed to be escorted by a human...and also, it's dark out? I hadn't noticed. My vision is very superior even compared to other demons but that also means that I have trouble knowing when there is a lack of light. I sometimes call myself the Anti-Terezi. 

The real Terezi doesn't appreciate the joke.

"That won't be necessary. However, you will have the honor of the soon-to-be Demon Empress escorting you back to your residence. You better be grateful."

"I am, verily." She giggled again and did a small curtsy. I am aware that she was probably joking but for whatever reason, the gesture still caused my gills to blush fuschia.

After a somehow even _longer_ walk, we arrive back at her small, dirtier, cozier farm. The animals were already cramped in their stables and the moon was beginning to shine down on us.

"Sorry for how long that took. I mostly remembered the route but then I got distracted by the sight of a squirrel carrying a mushroom in its teeth and that caught my attention for a while, causing me to follow it. In any case, goodnight." I began to walk back to my familiar portal spot before a hand on the shoulder stopped me.

"Are you sure you can't stay for a little longer?" Her eyes were different than Rose's but the gist of the message was the same. She was practically begging me to stay. I mean, I should go if I want to make sure that Kanaya's follies aren't discovered by anyone but...why is she so insistent on me staying? Is there something she wants to show me or something she wants to do or...oh my Cod.

Does she want me to spend the night?

We just met fairly recently so it's a bit odd to ask a girl to keep your bed warm especially if the girl is another demon I mean it's not that odd if you consider that it's not uncommon for human females to be much more affectionate with each other than they are with the opposite sex but is she just seeking affectionate I don't want to misread a signal like I did with Sollux and Cod forbid that I come off as another Eri---

"Feferi?" Molly called out to me from atop the fence. She was sitting a few feet away from the broken mess I left part of it in. I paused my mental rambling to join her on her side. "I just didn't want you to go before seeing the stars. You said that you can't see them from your palace, right?"

I sighed in what I suppose was relief before looking up. "Yes, that's correct. Thank you Molly."

"Being royalty sounds really cool but it helps to take a break every now and then." I could barely hear her due to the sight of the shining bodies above. They're so faint yet I feel like I could pluck them from the sky if I wished. I mean, I could. I could do if I wanted to. I would do it if she asked me to. "The way you talk about the other demons, it sounds like you're all a big family. That's something I always wanted. Even if I had to get married."

Married? I was snapped out of the star's hypnosis to stare at her. The moonlight was almost directly hitting her, allowing me to see her face in greater detail. Every crease, every blemish, every scar...

She must have noticed my gaze because she turned her head in my direction to continue. "I've never been big on romance...plus I don't really consider myself the type most guys would like to marry...but the idea of having people to provide for, people who are always waiting at the house for you, people who will never leave you...it's a nice thought, don't you think?"

She smiled at me for a bit...and then her expression turned into one of surprise. Did she see someone? Did she hear a noise that I couldn't? I must have asked myself a million question in those few seconds before my hand left her cheek...

...And my lips finally left hers.

Oh.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear oh my.


	6. It's Getting So That You Can't Even Steal Things Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see Feferi eel her way out of an awkward situation before she encounters another Runaway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one should introduce a few more before the whatchamacallit starts. Enjoy dumbassery.

Oh Cod. I should not have done that, I was just...it was a complete accident. Her face...I can't even read it! Is she confused? Disgusted? Flustered? I don't know what I'm working with here!

She's just looking at me, probably confused about why I suddenly decided to kiss her. What should I tell her? That her musing about families inspired me to mock her? That I'm planning on collecting for her wish whether she makes it or not? That she's just insanely pretty in the moonlight?

"Feferi..." She struck a blow against my chest with just her voice. Her tone just sounded befuddled. "What was that for?"

Come on, think think think! Come up with something! Anything! Even if it's the stupidest thing you ever said!

"There was something on your lips and I didn't want to use my hands to wipe it off."

...

...Might have made the net too wide for that one. 

She looked at me for a few more seconds before bursting into laughter. "You're too funny!"

Oh thank Cod, she took it as a joke. I felt relief (and nothing more) as I started to laugh with her. "Well, the situation was starting to get a bit too serious..."

We laughed for who knows how long before she finally calmed down. "I didn't think we had become to do that."

I stopped suddenly as the previous pressure in my chest returned. "Do what?"

"To be that nice with each other." She snorted before continuing. "I haven't had a friend I was that close with since Klara."

"Klara?" She mentioned having a friend in our previous talks but this is the first time I heard her name. "You two were...that close?"

"Oh yeah, probably closer than that even. We did everything together. Chores, cooking, gossiping, sleeping, catching turtles near the ocean..." She was smiling but a lot of the warmth had gone out of her expression. "I said that we'd be together always and she agreed."

I nodded, almost perversely fascinated by her past. Even if I had an inkling where this story was headed. "And now...?"

"Klara...Klara could talk to plants." Her smile slowly disappeared as she stared at the grass. "The officials at the village caught her making a tree move one day and...I never saw again after her tri---"

I changed my mind. I pulled her into a tight hug...which was really awkward to pull off considering our height difference and the fact that we were on a fence. I had to shift around a bit to keep us both from falling. "I'm shor---I'm sorry, Molly."

"It's alright." She wrapped her arms around me as I held onto her. "I try not to think about it. But maybe the reason demons don't bother me so much is because I know that humans can be way worse."

Pfft. I'm not going to contest that. Demons may take pride in their ability to cause mayhem but humanity own inhumanity will always have us beat by a country mile. It's almost embarrassing on our part.

We stayed in each other's arms for another few minutes before she finally pulled away. "I should get things ready for tomorrow. Will you be coming back?"

"Not even lamb's blood could keep me from entering your house." I winked at her before jumping off the fence. "Oh, and...I'll definitely fix your fence when I gather the supplies. It's a promise."

"Thanks!" She waved at me as I walked off. "It would keep the cows from getting out."

That statement was punctuated by a quiet "Moo" as I walked away from the pond. While going down the familiar route, I became lost in thought due to the events of the day. That witch...does she really expect things to work out with Kanaya? Why would Kanaya risk her position and life over a mere mortal? Would...

Would I?

It's getting a little harder to define my feelings for Molly. I thought it was just fascination but Rose's feelings for Kanaya seems to hit a little too close to the pond for me. That and there is the fact that I literally just kissed her for no reason. That bugs me. Why did I kiss her? She was just talking about her desire for a family? I'm almost certain that my feelings for her aren't romantic in nature but let's suppose they were. Did her musings make me jealous that I couldn't provide her with what she wanted? Or do I want to start one with her myse---

Ugh, now I'm starting to gross myself out. Thankfully, the loud sound of a body crashing down from a tree next to me and rolling a fair distance away caught my attention. I walked over to investigate and I found a battered and bloodied young man groaning against the tree. Wearing a white shirt and brown pants, his breathing was clearly labored indicating his extreme pain. I rolled him over to see his face, ignoring the agonized moaning, and saw that he had short blonde hair with stubble surrounding his chin. He was actually pretty cute...and I'm not just saying that because of the cuts on his face.

"F-foul demon..." He growl as he struggled to move. I'm guessing the fall did more than give him a couple of cuts. "Let my last breath be the curse that I place on you for your seduction of my---"

Oh, I forgot I could do something about this. I placed my hands slightly above his body as I concentrated. Soon, his bones snapped back into place, his cuts sealed up and his bruises faded away. He sat up, most likely shocked at his own good fortune.

"Feel better?" I asked with a proud smile.

"How...how did you do that?!" He demanded. Wow. Humans really are worse than demons. I'm hearing crickets, the footsteps of fawns and the distant howl of a wolf but I am **definitely** not hearing a thank you.

"Holding domain over Life, injuries like that are child's play to heal." I explain as he stood up as I remained kneeling on the ground.

"Hmph. I suppose I should thank you, demon. But I still do not know what your intentions towards my little sister are." He cross his arms while glaring down at me.

Wait...little sister? His blond hair and poorly thought out actions remind me of another one of Molly's friends.

"You wouldn't happen to be Chase Stein, would you?" I asked. There was a brief flash of shock in his eyes but he returned to his previous ornery expression. 

"I see my reputation precedes me. Have my deeds reached even the halls of Hell?"

"Not really. Molly told me about you."

"AHA! You see that? You're already cajoling secrets out of her!" He balled his hands into fists as he placed them onto his hips. "That's why I spent weeks devising a plan to get you alone so that I may ambush you and grill you on your plans with Molly. I was reluctant to use such underhanded methods against a woman but desperate times call for desperate methods."

"...You spent weeks devising that amounted to you hiding in a tree and jumping out at me?"

"...I focus more on practicality than complexity."

I sighed as I stood up. Chase took this as a intent to attack and immediately took a fighting stance. 

"I don't care how strong you are, hellion. You touch a hair on Molly's head and I'll..."

"Relax. I have no ill intentions towards your sister. I will see to it that absolutely no harm comes to her."

He gave me a suspicious look. "You have no ill intentions at all?"

I tried not to think about the kiss. "None whatsoever. I just desire her companionship."

"...But you're a demon." 

It was my turn to groan. "Yes and you'll just have to take this demon's word that she has no desire to hurt Molly. If you'll excuse me, I have to get home. There's another matter that needs my attention." 

I walked past him, not really caring if he tries to follow me. Instead, he simply shouted, "I have my eye on you, vixen! And thank you!"

Hm. Maybe he's not too bad for a complete dolt.

Anyway, I returned to the sea and swam through the portal to make it back into the palace. It was late but I needed to go to Kanaya's chambers. We need to work out some sort of plan to keep the relationship between her and that witch secret. Maybe it's about time we cast that glamour spell...

I was back to being lost in thought as I walked through the entrance only to bump into the person I least want to bump into.

I held back a curse as I muttered, "Sorry Equius, I wasn't watching where I was---"

"Empress, please excuse my pitiful existence." A young man with long black stringy hair threw his built frame to the ground. His attire included a tight top that came up to let me see the back of his waist and even tighter shorts that let me see every curve of his ass. This would be a welcome treat if it wasn't for his personality.

"It was my fault, really..."

"I must recommend a suitable punishment." He was already starting to sweat. Good Cod. "Perhaps a night of 1000 lashes or maybe a day of constant torture involving my nether regions. Or..."

He picked his head up and gave me a nervous grin with his broken teeth.

"...Just at least five minutes of shunting?"

"...I don't have time for this." I growled as I stomped. I don't know why Nepeta puts up with him. Surely there are more powerful demons? Or at least a few that are less powerful but not so revoltingly submissive? Honestly, if it weren't for her recommendation, he wouldn't be in my circle in the first place!

"Empress! Please wait!" Not gonna, guppy. "There is an urgent matter that I must speak with you about!"

Ugh. What could this creep want now? "Is it absolutely urgent?"

"Yes...extremely." He slowly rose to his feet before walking over to my spot. "Someone has stolen my homunculus."

I raised an eyebrow. "Not to come off as heartless, Equius..." I really didn't care if I did. "...But I don't see how that's my problem."

"I believe that it's both of our problems..." He was only a few feet away from me before his expression suddenly turned serious. "...Because I think you know the human who took it."

...

...What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi. Weird, right?


	7. The Man Of La Mancha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equius has sinned against God and created a heartthrob. This will make the meet-ups considerably more awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from the Pit. Please enjoy this new episode of The Sweeps Of Our Lives.

Equius couldn't really explain what he meant by that because I had already grabbed his throat and slammed him to the wall. It made a really satisfying cracking noise as soon as his back hit but the creepy bass smile on his face really made this seem like less of a punishment and more of a negotiation measure.

"Start talking before I pop your head off from your neck." I only got drooling and gagging in response so I released my grip and let him fall to the ground. After some coughing, he weakly rose to his feet.

"Thank you, Empress. To start at the beginning, I noticed your escapades from outside the palace entirely by accident. You see, while you were at the farm, I was nearby gathering materials for my homunculus project. I was pulling up roots a few feet away from the fence when I saw you tending to the chickens with that tall, slightly built young woman."

Slightly? Just because you look like you were sculpted by a very precise monk with repressed urges doesn't mean you get to put Molly down for having muscles where it counts. 

"I watched you two for a while after that. You seemed rather taken with her. It's quite the oddity, a person of so high a status having feelings for such a lowly creature..."

"Hey!" His toadying was beginning to wear on my last nerves. "Do not call Molly a lowly creature. And how did any of our interactions imply that I have feelings for her of...of that nature?!"

"So your interest in the human is purely physical?"

I silently prayed (!) to myself that the feeling of a blush creeping into my gills was just my mind playing tricks on me. "What?!"

"You only wish to dominate a lower being than yourself to satisfy your carnal urges. It's perfectly natural for a demon with your heritage. To crush lower forms with your heel, to make them beg for mercy, to make them unable tell the most unbearable of agonies apart from the most sought after of pleasures..."

I grabbed him by the tank top and lifted him into the air, obviously done with this entire conversation. "Don't make me regret not ripping your head off. How do you know about the others and what's the deal with this homunculus?!"

He cleared his throat. "It appears that I have touched on a somewhat private matter. I will make my situation brief. Eventually, I was able to acquire enough ingredients to create my own servant in the shape of a man. He has the outer appearance of a human but he is constructed out of the earth and the crackles in the air left after a storm. His name is Victor Mancha. After routine tests and a very thorough physical inspection, I sent him out into the village to gather information on my behalf. It was a delegation of an assignment given to me by the Elder Aranea."

Aranea? What does she have to do with the village? Is she taking a census of some sort?

"I waited for a week for an assignment that was supposed to take a day. Not wanting to face an Elder's wrath and lose out on valuable lab equipment, I ventured back to the human world to find him in the village. Before that, I stopped by the farm to check in how you were doing with your human. You were already leaving with her along with some other humans so I followed. You went to house and stayed for quite some time. After you left with your human, I decided to follow the others."

He was keeping an eye on us that whole time without us knowing? What a creep.

"They led me to a rather large residence with lanterns on the side of the house. I peeked in the window as they walked inside. There, I saw them being greeted by a Rubenesque girl with short brown hair...who was being served by Victor."

Oh...is it even possible to seduce a homunculus? I mean, given how Equius described her, I suppose if I was a soulless construct and there was a woman with nice proportions inviting me inside her home...

"Empress, I beg of you. Convince them to return Victor to me. Besides all the effort I put into building him, if the Elders find out about him and that the humans have him..."

"It'll be an absolute bloodbath." I sighed. "And not the fun kind."

"Yes...please, I just want to deal with this as quietly as possible." Equius was looking surprisingly sympathetic for once. Despite his submissiveness and tendency to prattle on about how certain demons are superior to others, he really didn't have it in him to cause undue destruction to others.

"...I'll see what I can do." I said before walking in the direction of my chambers.

"You are much too merciful, Empress...thank you. I will tell Nepeta you said hello."

I could barely register what he said before I was already half-way to my room. The humans managed to acquire a homunculus built by a demon. One of our "smarter" ones at that. Do they not realize the sheer amount of danger they have put themselves in? They're most likely facing a worse fate than that Rose girl. Speaking of her, what am I going to say to Kanaya? How are we suppose to keep anybody from finding out about her and the witch? Are we going to bring her here? Can we even hide her here? I was so busy thinking of increasingly unlikely scenarios that I managed to bump into another demon just outside my room.

"I'm so sorry but I really need to get to my---"

I practically flinched as I looked up and saw Kanaya looking down at me, oddly surprised to catch me near my literal chambers.

"Your high---Feferi? I assumed you were already asleep..."

"My visit took a bit longer than I expected---wait, you thought I was asleep? What are you doing outside my door when I'm asleep?"

"My apologies but I wasn't "outside your door", so to speak." She gave me a fed up look that was really uncalled for since I asked a fairly reasonable question. "I was on my way to another section of the palace."

How oddly non-specific. It didn't take me long to figure out she was actually on how her way to see Rose again. I guess it was fate that brought her in front of her attention deficit empress. I should toss a softball before I get into the reason why I really needed to see her.

"Kanaya...have you ever been in love before?"

For some reason, she looked incredibly fluster by my question. Maybe she's had a bad breakup? Or a reely good breakup?

"I...I don't see how that is relevant..." Hm. Perfectly serviceable answer. Still, I should ask her a less intrusive question this time.

"Are you in love now?"

"Feferi!" She was still flustered but her expression bordered on outrage. "Why are you asking me such...things?! Am I in love? Have you forgotten what we are?"

Oh boy. She's really upset now. I might as well come clean. But I shouldn't be too hasty. Let's ease into the revelation."

"I know about you and the witch."

Her entire body stiffen as her face morphed into a state of shock. I might have tore off that bandage too fast. Oh well.

"Are you...you are here to have me reported, aren't you?" Defeated, she relaxed her muscles. "I understand completely. I know it is not my place but I plead of you, if my years of service mean anything to you, please spare Rose from any punishment. I was the one who sought her out first."

I crinkled my nose at her pathetic display. "I should have you executed for even assuming that I would have you punished for such a minor issue. You're my precious general. If you did something that would be disapproved of by the higher ups, it's my job to make sure that you get away with it."

"Get away with it...?" Her emerald eyes widened. "You don't mean..."

"Yes. I'm going to make sure you and Rose can continue your...correspondence. After all, if someone found out about you two, it'll be a matter of time before they find out about Molly and I."

"Molly and...so you're also---"

"Ech! Stop right there!" I put my hand up to her face to show that I mean business. "There will be no further inquisitions about the nature about the relationship between Molly and I. Understand?"

She quickly nodded. Good. I'm glad someone understood it.

"So do you have a plan already?" She asked. It was weird to see a girl who tore apart so many forces deeper below ground at the tender age of 13 acting so vulnerable.

"I got a pretty good one but I need to ask someone for supplies. How about you go see her now and I go to You-Know-Who for the preparations?"

I managed to get a small but absolutely illuminating smile out of her. "Feferi, I'm not sure how to thank you for this..."

I rolled my eyes and took her arm, pulling her into a tight hug. "You can thank me by being happy. Now you go see your witch and I...go see my supplier."

She gave me a quick squeeze back before I let her go to her own private coven. I opened the door and walked inside my room only to collapse onto my all too inviting bed. I gave a minute long moan into my pink cover while rightfully angsting over what I have to do next. With his help, I can solve both Kanaya's and Equius' problems at the same time. But that would involve _talking_ to him though. We haven't talked since I banned him from the throne room. But he's the only one with glamour materials. 

I gave a quicker groan and rolled off the bed. Landing with a _**THUD**_ , I continued to roll over to my desk where I got up and sat down at my chair. Grabbing my gryphon quill and a sheet of Dead Sea paper, I began to write out my letter.

_Dear Eridan_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy, I can't wait to see how this will backfire. Thanks for reading!


	8. Waiting On A Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A simple retrieval mission. Surely no silly hijinks can ensue from this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to meet a few more people and get our hands a bit dirtier. Enjoy the soil of misunderstandings.

"You want me to fucking what?"

Karkat. A minor grunt from the levels near purgatory. Resourceful, witty and has a huge chip on his shoulder from the constant abuse he got from other demons due to his origins. You see, Karkat is the spawn of a meeting between a powerful demon working under an Elder and an angel of Virtue. Once the relationship was found out, both parties were sent off to an unknown fate and Karkat was "allowed" to work alongside the grunts on the higher levels, getting handed every abuse imaginable for his unforgivable crime of existing. I saw his potential and, with some extra prodding from Kanaya, took him into my circle as my messenger. Although, oddly remembering his origins while meeting him has gotten me wondering about my current situation...as well as someone else's...

"Hello?! Earth to my fucking highness?!" I forgot that I was still giving him the letter. To be honest, I could do without that salty language of his bringing me back to reality.

"My apologies Karkat. I need you to deliver this to Eridan as soon as possible."

He gave me a look of disbelief that just reinforced my belief that this is one of my worst ideas yet.

"Let me get this straight: you want me to go to the most stuffy part of hell, honestly directly underneath the big guy himself, and you want me to give this letter to the most temperamental, batshit, dumbass bastard I've ever had the misfortune of knowing?"

I looked at him for a moment before grinning. "Exactly!"

His jaw slumped for a moment before he shifted it to the left, then to the right. He bared his bottom row of teeth before sucking in his cheeks. He let out a loud sigh before letting his face return to normal before asking, "Why?"

"Eridan has the glamour spell and I need it to help out Kanaya with some private matters. Plus...it's been a while and I wanted to clear up some things in that letter."

"Help out...? What the in the nine circles of fuck are you talking about? I'm not about to trek out to some castle filled with spoiled living warts just to deliver a stupid..."

He couldn't finish that part because I picked him up and held him behind me horizontally, pressing his back against mine. I squeezed him against me while he futilely squirmed around, trying to escape.

"You seemed to have forgotten who you're talking to. I am the soon-to-be Empress of Hell itself. When I give a command, I expect it to be followed literally to the letter. If you question me in such a manner again, I will make sure your ears will never be dry, your belly never unpink, and your head will have my knuckle prints stuck in them!"

"Ack!" was all I got of him before I came to my senses and let him down. He rubbed his back on the ground while groaning.

"I'm sorry about that. I just really need these materials to help her out. I won't threaten you into it but can you do this as a favor for me, not your Empress?"

I got a well-deserved glare from him as he stood up before he looked at the letter. "If this will help her out, I'll do it. But I'm just the messenger. I'm not going to talk to that fucking bottom feeder."

I responded by biting into my thumb and running a small line down his forehead with the blood. "This mark shows who sent you. If anyone gives you any trouble, they'll know who they have to answer to."

Besides a mild look of disgust, he just nodded before heading for the palace doors. I turned and walked back towards the throne room, not really looking forward to how awkward my meeting with Molly will be this afternoon.

***

"They have a _what_?"

"You didn't know?" I stirred the spoon around in my bowl of broth. "Your friends possess a special creation forged in the bowels of my palace."

"The...the bowels?" Molly's look of shock was replaced with one of confusion. "What are those?"

"Really? I mean..." I struggled to figure how to explain such...touchy organs. "They're the things in your body that expel the waste from your butt."

"Gross...your palace has a place like that?"

"Well, Equius' forging room reminds me of them." I was able to get a chunk of chicken meat on my spoon. "The point is, your friends have something that is very valuable to us and if they don't return him soon, it could have dire consequences for all of them."

She looked at her empty bowl for a few seconds before slapping her hands on the table. "Let's go talk to them. If we explain the situation, they'll give him back to Equius and nobody has to get hurt."

I smiled at her simple if practical thought process. "You're right. This can all be done without any bloodshed. After we clean up, let's go pay a visit to Gertrude's house."

"Yes...wait!" She stood out of her chair, almost knocking it over. "Gertrude's place is closer to the village. What if someone sees you?"

"Ah, that would be a problem EXCEPT..." I picked up a large, damp shawl that I had by the chair. "They would have to violate my purity by lifting my security shawl!"

"I was wondering why you brought that with you..." She mumbled before she stifled a giggle.

After a quick clean of the bowls with a brown rag (I honestly never saw myself cleaning dishes but I did it anyway out of politeness. Totally not for proximity reasons), we were off towards Gertrude's residence. Molly was dressed in a simple slightly tattered tan dress as I wrapped myself in my moist shawl. While it had dull colors, it was clearly the most beautiful thing that most people will see in their lives which explains the stares of the few people we passed before we stopped outside a house.

"This is her house." Molly spoke in a lower register than usual as she approached the door. I followed closely behind, nearly tripping due to the shawl falling over my eyes.

"Now remember, this is a delicate situation." I reminded her as she knocked on the door. "They might be hiding him somewhere in there so even though these are your friends, let me do most of the talking. I have a very persuasive tong---"

We were interrupted by the door being opened by a tan-skinned young man with untidy brown hair who wielded impressive emerald eyes that shone almost as bright as Molly's. He was wearing a white shirt with hazel pants. Surely this can't be the homunculus. He is far too beautiful for anything Equius created and there is no way they would let such an incredible being just answer the door for them.

"Can I help you two?" He asked in a soothing tone.

"Yeah, we're looking for Gertrude? I'm Molly, a friend of hers." Amazingly, she was able to speak while I was struggling to form words. What kind of human has this kind of effect over such a powerful demon?!

"Oh, you're Molly. Come right in." He smiled and stepped inside, allowing us to walk in the most furnished house I've been in so far. Several bookshelves, a silver pot over the fireplace, a statue of an odd lizard in the corner...

"Hey Molly." A full-figured girl walked in from another room (this is also the first human house I've seen with several rooms) who I'm guessing is Gertrude. She was wearing a brown apron over a white dress with blue stripes. "I see that you've met Victor."

Oh my cod, that's the homunculus.

Oh my cod, she just showed someone else the homunculus.

Oh my cod, _she just had the homunculus answer the door._

I immediately took off my shawl and pointed a declarative finger at Gertrude. "You! Explain how you came across this being now!"

She took a step back. "A demon? Molly, you let a demon in here? Is this about what I said about your cow at your last birthday?"

"What? No!" Molly stood in between us, unfortunately getting in the way of my finger of declaration. "This is Feferi, the girl I told you about."

"Feferi...oh. You're the girl who was stalking Molly." She said with a stoic expression. The nerve of this woman!

"First off, I did not stalk her. Secondly, how did you come across this homunculus?" 

She snorted. "It's a boring story. I found him wandering outside naked and I invited him inside to put on some clothes. Eventually, he was just living here."

"Wow...you are an awful storyteller. That felt like it could have been so much better." I put my finger down as I put both of my hands on my hips. "I'm going to have ask you to give that homunculus to me now."

"Okay. I mean, if he's okay with it." She looked at Victor for...an opinion? Is that what's happening here?

"If he's okay with it...? He's a construct. He has little to no independent thought of his own." 

She actually frowned at me. "He seems pretty independent to me. I think we should ask him."

I don't know why I did this but I actually turned to Molly for a third opinion. "What do you think?"

She thought for a moment. "There's no harm in just asking, is there?"

I let out an ugly groan. "Fine...Victor Mancha, do you wish to stay here or come back with me? To your creator? Who will be severely punished should you stay here?"

He actually tilted his head, apparently in thought. Finally, he said...

Nothing because someone decided to kick open the door and brandish a rifle at us.

"Feferi..." an all too familiar voice spoke. "I got your letter. I'll take care of everything."

I watched in horror as Eridan pointed his weapon directly in Gertrude's direction, his finger edging towards the trigger...

"Judging by his behavior, I'm guessing this guy is..." Gertrude shakily pointed in his direction. "...An ex?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Whoops.


	9. The Boy Not Doing Anything Suspicious By The Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to catch up with old friends...usually when firearms aren't involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brand new and let's actually try to thicken the plot this time! No promises though.

"ERIDAN!" His muscles immediately locked as I used my voice to paralyze him where he stood. I allowed him to turn his eyes towards me and he dared to look at me with confusion.

"Mmmph..." He tried to speak but I remembered his throat muscles were still locked up. I sighed as I loosened them with a glare. "What's the matter with you, Fef? I got your letter..."

"Yes, you clearly got my letter so what the hell are you doing?!" I could barely stop myself from walking over and rotating his limbs around. Here I was making a delicate negotiation and he comes in, embarrassing me in front of both parties!

He twitched as he moved his eyes back to Gertrude...who was wisely now standing in a different spot then the place he was pointing his rifle at. "Can I put this down for the time being?"

I clapped my hands together and he collapsed to the floor, holding onto his Crosshairs for dear life. Everybody in the room watched him pant and heave as Molly turned to me.

"Feferi, did you call in Eridan to attack Gert with...whatever that is?" 

"What?! No no no!" I pleaded my case while waving my hands around frantically to placate her. "I just called him over for materials while explaining the situation to him. I didn't tell him to do all this!"

"I brought the materials..." Eridan rose to his feet, clad in his ornate royal cloths baring the symbol of The Beast. He dusted off his purple fabrics before continuing, "...But if you think you can let this girl live after what she's done, your head must have gotten waterlogged...Your Highness."

I narrowed my eyes at him, making it clear that he should choose his next words wisely. "You did not just say that..."

"Alright, clearly there was a misunderstanding of some sort..." Victor stepped in between Eridan and Gertrude only to be met with the Crosshairs pointed at his face.

"You stay out of this, construct! You homunculus are perpetual motion machines so I don't mind bringing you back down in pieces!" He pressed the rifle to Victor's nose...only for it to be wrenched out of his hands immediately by an irate Molly. 

"I think we've had enough of this..." She grumbled before taking the Crosshairs and smashing it over her knee.

Wait...

How did she do that?

The Crosshairs was made out of the finest materials that could be found in the Abyss. It should be impossible for a human to lift, let alone break. I mean, Molly may be somewhat powerful but this exceeds all of my expectations...

"MY CROSSHAIRS!" Eridan's high-pitched screech brought me out of my ponderings. "You...what the hell are you?!"

"My name is Molly Hayes and no one points a weapon at my friends." She responded to the look of pure rage on his face with a glower of her own. Before the situation got any hairier, I decided to step in.

"Okay, that's enough. Both of you, step back." I moved in between them and lightly pushed them away from each other. "Eridan, I'll arrange to have the Crosshairs repaired if you just hand over the ingredients and leave here with no intent of returning."

He grumbled something inaudible before giving me an oddly serious look as he reached into his robes. "I'll hand over the materials...if you explain to me the nature of your relationship with this human."

Oh great, this again. "Molly is a friend of mine. I have no need nor desire to explain it any further."

He already had a small brown sack in his hand as he stared at me. "Glamour ingredients, special treatment to her friends, you let her break a priceless family heirloom...this is beyond forbidden behavior for a demon, especially one of your status. If I didn't know any better, and I know a hell of a lot better than these lowly mortals, I'd say you were..."

I snatched the sack from while staring the sharpest of daggers at him. "She's a _friend_ , Eridan. Something that I used to think you were."

A flash of pain came across his face before he returned to his usual frown. "I'm washing my hands of this. If you get caught, have fun explaining this to the Elders." He picked up his broken Crosshairs from the floor and left the house, slamming the door behind him. 

A very awkward silence flooded the room before Gertrude coughed and finally spoke, "So Victor...about your choice?"

Victor honestly looked like he would rather be in pieces rather than answer that question. "Actually...this could be a good opportunity to truly understand the one who created me. Your Highness, if it's not too much trouble, can you ask Equius to come up here himself so that we can...chat?"

Whaaaa...? What an odd request from a homunculus. Wanting to pick the brains of your creator...I have never come across this before. I thought about it for a few moments before slowly nodding.

"There should be at least enough material here for two people...very well Victor. I'll inform Equius of your decision."

He gave a luminous grin. "Thank you so much! I'm forever in your debt."

Somehow a bit touched by the gratitude of a homunculus, I smiled back at him before heading for the door. "I apologize for the trouble, Miss Gertrude. I hope to see you again under better circumstances...although probably not looking like this." 

"It was somehow not the death of me meeting you, Feferi. And call me Gert." She smiled at me for the first time since I got there as I left with Molly. After the trek back, a quick talk about how she should be more careful with powerful demonic artifacts at her house and a quicker trek back to the palace, it was time to break the news to Equius.

"He...what?" I was outside his room when I told him the situation.

"Victor would like to speak to you privately...in the human world." I took his hand and patted it, hoping it would make the news go down better. Cod, his hands were clammy.

"I...I never seen a construct with such...independence." He sighed softly. "Perhaps I didn't mix the batch correctly?"

"Yes, well..." I took out a smaller black sack from my dress and put it in his palm. "You cast the glamour spell and speak to him as soon as you can, okay? I got my own situation to deal with." 

I walked from his door to ascend to the upper floors, where Kanaya's room was located. After a walk that could have been a lot shorter if they would install a freaking lift like I demanded at the last council, I finally reached her door. I knocked on it and was almost immediately greeted with a Kanaya clad in a simple, long-sleeved black dress.

"Feferi, are you here to discuss the---"

"No time to talk!" I shoved another small black sack at her. "I gotta cast my own spell for tomorrow. I need you to be at Rose's house so that we can think of a game plan. Is that clear?"

She nodded quickly before I pushed her back in her room and closed the door. I made a dash to main floor where my room was located. I quickly shut the door behind me, took out the brown sack and went to my desk. Having the mortar and the small bowl already ready, I poured out the materials, mixed them as well as I could, chanted the arcane words and...

***

"Ta-da!" 

I posed in front of an applauding Molly with my hands on my hips as they were swayed out to the side. Gone were my gills and rows full of sharp teeth. I now had a dark skin human complexion with several freckles on each of my cheeks. The only fault in the glamour was that my eyes had the fuschia color in them and that might be because I spread myself thin with the materials. 

"You look incredible! I've never seen a girl so pretty!"

I beamed at the rightfully deserved praise but it came with a bittersweet taste. Does Molly prefer this form over my true appearance? Obviously, my true form is more beautiful than this one but maybe a human will always find another human more attractive? Rose and Kanaya do not seem to have this problem but Molly's interests may skew in a different direction...

Again, my ponderings were interrupted. This time by Molly taking my hand and smiling at me. 

"Will the beautiful princess accompany me to the witch's house?"

I tried to say something. I really did. But I could only giggle as I turn my head away, praising this skin's color for hiding the blood rushing to my face. Well...maybe this form isn't too inferior to my true one.

We were halfway through the forest when came across a splashing sound from the pond in the forest. We looked at each other before stepping closer to investigate. A body was flopping around in the water, clearly trying to stay afloat. 

"They're drowning!" Molly gasped before running ahead, going into the water with clearly no care to the state of her dress. I went after her only to come upon her pulling out a young man with messy black hair. His tan shirt and tanner pants were soaked as he coughed up water on the bank.

"Are you alright?" I asked him as he looked at me with a dazed look. His buck teeth helped accentuate his grin as Molly approached him from behind.

"I'm doing great! Not my best swimming lesson though..." He looked to his side to see Molly, his eyes widening as he met the eyes of his savior. 

"Glad you're not fish food. My name's Molly and this is Feferi." She smiled back at him, making me a bit nervous that he might take her kindness the wrong way.

"It's John...Prince John Egbert." I could sense the blood rushing to his cheeks too.

Ah.

This cannot be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That face looks familiar...


	10. Just A Quick Pick-Him-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the hapless Prince Egbert. Wacky hijinks are partially guaranteed to ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pretty quick one this time. The good times are sure to roll after this.

"So...what does a prince usually do besides drown in a pond in the forest?"

I eyed him up and down after as we walked much slower towards Rose's house. Gotta admit, not a fan of what passes for royalty in this place. The prince is dressed too casually, he's much too unrefined with his movements and he is walking _way_ too close to Molly. Isn't there a law up here that prevents nobility from interacting with commoners?

"Not much, to be honest." He answered my question happily, oblivious to the subtext. "I mostly just receive lessons, sit in on meetings and hang out with friends."

You gotta be kidding. There must be better things that a person who is going to inherit such an important position should be doing with their time.

"It must be nice to live in a castle though." Molly mused, even though living in a palace is clearly far superior. 

"It is...even though I think it is too big at times." He dared to counter with a sheepish grin.

Oh come on! I once got lost in my palace when I was six years old and had to live in the closet for two weeks.

"Where are you guys heading?" He asked Molly. Wow, I honestly don't recall any of that being his business.

"We're just going to a friend's house. It's a pretty private affair." Molly sweetly blocked him. She is so resourceful.

"Don't worry, I have to get back to the castle. My tutor doesn't like it when I'm like it when I'm late for a lesson...that I was supposed to take yesterday."

"We'll miss your company." Molly said as he walked in front of us. Okay, reel it in. You don't want to give him the wrong idea.

My fears were immediately confirmed as he took her hand and bowed. "I hope this isn't the last time I get to meet my heroine." He then kissed her hand before waving at me as he walked off into another section of the forest. Yeah, he better saunter away...

"He seemed nice." Molly turned to me with a smile that, for once, didn't really make me feel as warm inside as it usually does. "He really does have that princely aura."

"I suppose...we should be close to the house right now." I mumbled as I walked ahead of her, trying to avoid eye contact as I wondered why I was suddenly so ticked.

Luckily, we did reach the house shortly. A knock on the door and we were immediately greeted by Karolina's familiar visage.

"Molly and Feferi! Come in, we have a not-so-surprise guest." 

Molly and I flashed a grin at each other as we entered. Both Nico and Rose were seated at the table. Seated to Rose's left was a familiar tall girl with Far East features, wearing a green dress and jade lipstick.

"I'm guessing that vision of loveliness is Kanaya, post-glamour?" I said while approaching the table. Kanaya chuckled but Rose seemed less than impressed.

"Did you come here to flirt with your general or is your inspection finished already?" Rose placed her hand on Kanaya's while staring daggers at me. I would be offended if it wasn't so cute.

"Relax Rose, I'm just admiring how well this plan is going off." I nodded as I ignored the sound of something going on with the door behind me. I didn't want to lose my momentum. "As long as we stay cool and keep our existence known only to a select group of people, we should be just fine."

"Select group? Is that a group that you selected or do we get to pick it?"

Wow. Nico's voice got really deeper all of a sudden. And why is she behind me? I turned around to investigate these issues only to be met with a blond boy standing next to a girl with frizzy black hair.

Hm. It looks like our select group just got a lot larger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy...


	11. Something Good Will Come Of That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let's get this awkward conversation out of the way so that we can return to a conflict-free existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, this month...enjoy the new chapter.

Now you would think that, considering where we left last time, that the whole glamour situation has gone completely pear-shaped. And you'd be right...about being wrong because here we all are, having stew that both Kanaya and Molly have worked on. Really, the skies themselves could not contain my relief.

"You could have told us you had company over, Rose." The girl with the long curly black hair went by Jade. She wiped some grass off her dress before pulling up a chair. "We would have brought ingredients."

"You mean, _you_ would have brought ingredients." The blond one went by Dave. He sat himself on a chair near the wall with his bowl, scanning us with his scarlet eyes. "I would have vaguely remembered the meeting, forgotten about it on the way over, picked out some turnips from Old Man Hussie's garden and explained the dirt as me falling down a hill on my way over." 

"...Falling down a hill in a village that has none." Rose tried to clarify while Molly poured stew into her bowl.

"That's correct." He nodded while stirring his own meal with a spoon.

"Okay, I'll address the tusk beast in the room." Jade looked at Nico, Karolina and I as Molly filled her bowl up. "How did you all meet?"

"Um..." Karolina struggled to think of a convincing fib. "There was...a sale...at market for farmer's..."

"Molly ran into Rose at a scribe's place while she was picking out text. Over time, she introduced her to me, Nico and Karolina." I was able to get that all out before I went back to focusing on the stew. 

Jade nodded before turning to Kanaya, who was seated to Rose's left. "And you Kanaya? How did you two first meet?"

"...Chicken shopping." Kanaya managed to say before garnishing it with an awkward smile. Gotta admit, for a demon, she wasn't exactly the best at lying.

Still, Jade brought it hook line and sinker. "That's fantastic! Not only is Rose leaving the house more but she's making a ton of new friends!"

"Not gonna lie, she could use a few more." Dave chewed on something in his stew before continuing. I bet he can taste the goat. "It'll be nice to have a few more meat shields considering what happened."

"Dave!" Jade pouted at the boy near the wall. "Not cool! Very uncool! It would be the opposite of cool if that definition wasn't hot!"

"I'm just saying I didn't think that girls getting kidnapped to be used in blood rituals would be a problem that I would have to deal with in my lifetime." Dave gave us a blank stare. "Then there's what everybody saying about the increased sightings of demons."

A very convincing guffaw exited my mouth. "Demons...what would demons want with this village?"

He shrugged. "I guess nothing...although, considering the king just basically declared war against the arcane..."

Nico spat out her stew, thankfully into her bowl. "What?!"

"Yeah, the recent tax hike was pretty unpopular so the king needed a distraction. He just sent out an announcer yesterday who said that he's cracking down witches and the witchborn. Considering how popular that was, I don't see anything good happening to the fae outside the limits either."

Nico and Karolina shared an uneasy look while I gave a sympathetic gulp. Molly took a breath while seated at the table, having not even touched her bowl. "It's not fair..."

"It's more about politics than being fair." Dave crossed his legs while finishing off his bowl. "And politics are basically never fair. Like, at all."

Molly was looking more and more upset so I decided to change the subject. "Um...Molly and I found a boy drenched in the pond earlier." 

Jade perked up. "Did he have teeth like mine? And blue eyes?"

"Yeah, how did you know?" Molly asked.

"That's John! He's my brother!"

"Your brother...your brother's the prince?" I could hardly believe that he was related to such a pretty girl.

"That's right...and he's always getting lost." She sighed. I could already see the years of suffering related to having such a klutz for a sibling in her eyes.

"If he's your brother...you're the princess?" Molly's interest was definitely piqued. If our reading lessons had taught me anything, it's that she definitely had a thing for tales of chivalry and knighthood. I honestly think it's cute she's more excited at the prospect of being in the vicinity of a princess than the fact that she was briefly courted by a prince.

"That's right! John's next in line though. You know, that whole heir thing." She shrugged before taking a spoonful of stew.

"Heir thing? Is he the oldest?" I'm still not entirely sure how human hierarchies work. Do they work on age or just skill as it is in the demon world?

"Actually, I'm older by a few months. It's mostly because he's a guy."

"...A guy? But...surely he shows better promise at diplomacy and combat?"

"John's pretty strong but I've won all of our matches. And he sleeps through most meetings..."

"WHAT?!" This is an outrage! That guy can fall in a bunch of ponds, flirt with farmer girls, neglect his royal duties and he still gets the throne?! He would have the day he popped out the womb if he was raised in my realm! This topic was one that I refused to let go so I basically argued about it with everyone for the remainder of the stay. I brought up competence, the needs of the people and securing the safety of the kingdom while everyone else brought societal expectations, whether or not the people would accept a female ruler and how much stew I was getting all over the place. Except for Kanaya who remained silent and Dave, who used the commotion to get more stew. Eventually, the fire died down and I left with Molly, already on good terms with new people.

"That was a fun visit. The glamour worked well and we met new people." I said as walked past the gate into her farm.

"Yeah...another princess. I didn't think I would meet one in my lifetime." Molly was still over the moon over sitting next to royalty. Despite the fact that I totally wasn't feeling envious or anything, I decided to have fun with her a bit.

"Oh? So you prefer a human princess over a demon princess? I'm hurt, Molly." I turned away from her with a disapproving look.

"What? No way! You're way cooler than any princess that I've heard of...or recently read about." 

"I bet you say that to every royal you come across." I turned back around, trying to keep my expression only to have my own face betrayed by a smile encroaching on my features.

"Feferi, you're royal in a way that even the Pope couldn't touch." Molly declared with a grin. She's...really too sweet, isn't she?

I brushed aside a lock of my hair as I returned her grin with a small smile. "If you say so, it must be true."

"Really? Maybe I can be the tutor someday." She crossed her arms proudly. Can't have her getting too conceited so I have to bring her back down to Earth somehow.

"Honestly Molly..." I stood on my toes as I planted a kiss on her cheek. "...I think you already are."

She looked a bit flustered by that kiss. Seeing that my mission was accomplished, I waved to her as I exited the farm. I was in a state of bliss as I went back to the palace. I was in such a good mood, I barely noticed the old face waiting for me in the throne room.

"Hello Tavros! You're a sight for sore eyes!"

Tavros meekly rubbed the back of his head. It's nice to see him up and about since the accident...even if I'm not totally crazy about his replacement legs. Anyway, he scratched one of his chicken feet on the floor before clearing his throat.

"Greetings, your highness. I uh, I have some good news for you..."

"Good news?" Carp, I thought this day couldn't get any better! I walked up and took his hands as I awaited my fortune. "Do tell!"

He gave a sweet smile as he squeezed my hands back. "The elders have asked for you in an important meeting about the surface world!"

My expression fell as my hands went limp.

Godclammit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Okay.


	12. Ms. Peixes Goes To Gehenna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi gets some pretty eye-opening news...and meets an old flame for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry about the wait. Had to take a mental health break due to unfortunate circumstances. Enough about that. Time to actually move the plot along.

Whale, to tell you the truth about this place, I have to make a pretty petty complaint: it smells.

Gehenna has the smell of rotting corpses mixed with the aroma of rotten eggs, an unwashed armpit, and remorse. I always hate coming here for that reason. No wonder the people who work here are so grumpy. 

Either way, here I am outside the gates of the Temple. I had to take an entire week off from my trips to the farm to prepare for this day. I gotta walk up these steps, go inside that building and listen to wait, why does the Temple always look like it's crumbling when it's always tended to by the Hell's best architects? I've been inside here before. It looks as pristine as a place that houses the most powerful demons would want it to look. Is this an aesthetic choice? 

I knew I was making up excuses for not going in so I took a deep breath, immediately regretted it due to the aforementioned smell, and promptly walked in. The good news is that the smell did not follow me inside. The bad news is that the place was so vast and dimly lit that it made me feel so small as i walked up to the front of the desk to confirm that I'm here. And here's the bittersweet news: the receptionist happens to be my ex. 

"Hey Feferi. Abandon all hope, eh?" Sollux gave me a quick glance looking back at the book he was reading at his desk. It's actually pretty comforting to see a familiar face in here but still...running into an ex in a place like this is so damn awkward.

"You said it. The elders asked to see me?" 

He sighed as he pressed a button on the desk, sounding an alarm in the distance that allowed the 20-foot doors behind him to open. "Remember they hate each other more than they hate you. Keep your head up, Rahab."

"Thanks...I'll kelp that in mind!" I gave a cheerful smile as I skipped past him into the hall. My brave front was immediately replaced with trepidation as I walked down the hall that seemed to get longer each time I walked down it. The paintings that lined the walls, the portraits of the past emperors and empresses, glared down at me as I approached the council room. I could hear murmuring coming from the behind the doors with the actual sane height of only a few feet. I pushed past them and boom, an anxiety nightmare filled the reality of my next few minutes. 

"Heiress, you may approach the stand." A gravelly voice beckoned me as I walked to the center. Clearly recognizing the Darkleer's voice and knowing the consequences of disobeying an elder, I tried to keep a refined air as I approached the center of the room.

"I am honored by your summons, Darkleer. How may I serve the legions of Hell today?" I tried to pay them respect with a contralto of my own but my voice cracked somewhere in the middle in and it kinda ruined my whole momentum. 

"Heiress, we have heard through our sources that you have been engaging in meetings with mortals on the surface world." The Dolorossa showed how a contralto should actually be pulled off. It was awe-inspiring, terrifying and honestly? Kind of hot.

Oh wait, she knows about my visits. That's bad.

"I assho---assure you that my ventures to the surface world were the sake of gathering information only, my elders." I haven't flexed my lying muscles in a while but having a chance to use them in a situation where they were needed the most, I could see that were still, and would always be, cod-awful.

"Oh, we're well aware of the reasons why you have been visiting the human plane, Heiress." The Darkleer growled with the sound that implied there was glass caught in his throat.

This is it. I honestly don't know why I thought I could get away with this. I ruined everything just because I developed a fascination with a human. And now, because of me, I don't know what they're do to her once they're finished with me. They might even go after Kanaya next now that they have me. I lowered my face to the ground so that they didn't see me silently choke back a sob. I've, almost appropriately, royally screwed things up. 

"We know why you've been going to the surface world...and we couldn't be prouder." The Darkleer finished up his praising by clearing his throat which explains why his voice sounded so scratchy earlier---wait, what?

Praise?

"You've clearly caught wind of our plans for the land you've been visiting from the same source who informed us of your trips. We applaud your initiative in assisting us without us even having to ask." The Dualscar gave one of his trademark creepy grins. "I expect no less from our beautiful heiress."

"O-of course, my elders. These plans, that we all know of and therefore does not need to be explained, are going to according to...themselves." I cleared my own throat before adding on in a barely restrained panic. "Now, shall we review our plan to make sure that everything is going well?"

"Ah, I understand the reason for your odd, poorly-hidden anxiety now, heiress." The Dolorossa gifted me with a soothing tone that would have been reelly welcome if it wasn't for the situation I was in. "The informat, who managed to get the information of your trips out of an inebriated Ampora, has already been executed to make sure that no more information leaks out."

"Yes...that was clearly what I was worried about. Your comfort is much appreciated, Dolorossa." Ha. I am so dead.

"However, we are completely on board with your plan to review our planes for surface world." Darkleer coughed a bit as he prepared to keep going. Seriously, is the air here finally getting to him or what? "As you know, paranoia about us has reached an all time high on the human plane. The king of Derse has turned over much of his authority to the church which has declared on existence, if you can even believe that."

You know, I never bothered to learn the name of the place I was visiting. Can you believe that?

"Either way, we decided to humor Derse's declaration by preparing our forces to take over the kingdom. It would send a message to the clergy to be more careful about what they say in the future." Darkleer chuckled a bit before coughing again. "While we would like to review the information you have gathered, we have received word of your help on a relative short notice. We will have to set up another meeting to discuss your intel while we finish mobilizing the invasion. We should have the entire army gathered in let's say...two weeks." 

"Two weeks?!" I shouted before covering my mouth. 

"Yes! We thought it would be anywhere from a few months to a half a sweep. But with the news of your spying, we were confident to move it up the schedule." The Dualscar happily informed me. 

Oh carp, I did royally mess up.

"You are excused, heiress." The Dolorossa said as the door behind me opened. "We will send for you next week to hear what you have to say about the forces above."

I gave them a smile filled with very few sakes as I elegantly exited the room. The hallway didn't feel as long as it did before as I sauntered past the portraits and pushed open the doors with the same smile stuck on my face. I walked over to Sollux's desk and faced him with the same smile as I stood there motionless for a few seconds.

"So...how did it go?" He asked as I began to shake in front of him.

Unable to keep it in anymore, I slammed my hands on the desk as I screamed in his face. For cod knows how long, I bellowed in his face as I let out all of fears in one single shriek. 

He stood there throughout my entire audio onslaught before adjusting his shades and asking, "That bad?"

"THERE'S GOING BE A---there's going to be a war?!" I lowered my voiced from terrified yell to loud whisper as I bulged my eyes out at him.

"Shh! We're not supposed to know that yet!" He held his fingers in front of his lips before checking behind him. "Oh, so I guess they told you. But I'm not supposed to know that. I had to find out from that tore apart in the dungeons last Wednesday. Gotta admit, while horrific, the lighting in the place was perfect for the atmosphere."

"Do I look like I care about the freaking presentation?! They can't do this! And for such an inane reason!" 

"Oh, did they feed you the whole "talk shit, get hit" spiel too? No, there's a _way_ stupider reason for this."

I managed to slow down my heavy breathing to stare at him. "Stupider?"

"If you really have been going up there for "intel", you may have noticed the place has a shit-ton of witches up in such a small space. Hell, there should be even be a few fae up there too from what I heard. When the elders caught word of it, they knew they had to get in on that action. So, they waited for any excuse to invade so that they can go up there and turn that place into a mystical creature playground. With them holding the reins, of course. Are you okay?"

He added that last part because I was opening my mouth as wide as I can to let out an unearthly screech. I kept going until he got up from the desk and reached over to push my mouth shut. 

"No more of that, please." He sat back down and sighed. "If there's something you wanna get done up there, you'll wanna do it quick before it's time to send in the clowns. The Grand Highblood called dibs on the first wave."

I let out another muffled scream before grabbing Sollux's hand and shaking it. "Thank you." I then darted out of the Temple, into the portal that leads to the Nexus, into the portal that leads back to my palace that is located in the Nexus, out of the palace, up through the sea, past the forest and straight to Molly's farm.

I pounded on the door, causing a dent as I nearly put my fist through it as Molly answered the door with a furious expression that only softened when she saw me.

"Feferi? Where have you been since the whole---are you okay?"

She was probably referring to either my lack of glamour or the wide-eyed expression on my face. Or the leaves and sticks that were caught in my hair from my dash through the forest.

"Molly...has anything strange happened to you over the past week?"

"Strange? No...strange isn't the word I would use. Something pretty important happened though."

"Important? Important how? Describe important!" I was pretty freaked out so my louder shouts started coming back. 

She gave a bashful smile. "John and I have been hanging out recently and...yesterday, he proposed. I'm getting married."

...

...What.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch...thanks for reading!


	13. I Object

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly's getting married and Feferi gives her her best wishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little later than usual but you know with the mental health and junk...didn't plan on being 201ed...either way, enjoy!

Married.

"Married..."

She's getting married.

"You're getting married?"

Molly gave me a bashful smile that would have been even cuter if...whatever the hell is happening wasn't happening.

"I don't think anything's concrete yet. John said that he had to present his case to the king. But there aren't really that many royals around and he did say his dad has been bugging him about making an heir so...I like my chances." She held her hands together in front of her, almost as if she were holding a bouquet.

"You...you can't...how will you even fare in the castle? You can't relax when the only person who wants you there is your husband."

"Jade said that she'll help me get around. All of the maidens there like her so she should be able to put in a good word for me."

I stepped a bit closer, hoping that she wouldn't notice my quaking. "Are you and John...do you even love him?"

That got me a confused look. "No...? We just met over a week ago. But he's funny, kinda cute and kind. When we're married, I could see myself falling in love with him over time...Feferi, are you feeling alright? You look kinda sick---"

I suddenly grabbed her arms, pressing myself against her while looking up into her cruel green eyes. "Can I...will we even...will this make you happy?"

"Of course! More farming space, they got more books to practice reading on over there and I finally got a chance of making my own family. I'm so excited I can barely sleep...wait, do you not think you'll be able to visit? Because I can sneak you in whenever you---"

"Molly." I cut her off without the sob coming out so that's a plus. I really should have seen this coming from the beginning. Molly will finally get the perfect ending that she more than deserves and me being here...it will just make things more difficult. I tried to smile for her but her expression falling from joyful to sullen kinda just proves my own point. "I came here to tell you...I can't visit you anymore."

"What...? Why not? Is something happening? Is it anything I can help with? Just tell me what I need to do and---"

"You've more than helped. The things I've learned from spending time with you...I'll treasure them for hundreds of lifetimes. But I have to go back and stay there. Or otherwise..."

"Did I do something?"

Oh no.

"What?"

"Did I mess something up? Were you doing something important and us meeting up got in the way of that? Is it...is it wrong for me to get married?"

"No!"

"Then what is it then?! Are you bored with me? Have I gotten too dull to hang around? Do you hate me no---"

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT!" I was surprised by how angry I got when she said that. 

"Then what is it then?!" I was even more surprised by how little she was taken aback by that. She must be aware of how powerful I am by now. Most of my subjects fix their tone whenever I raise my voice but for some reason, it's not working here. I need to use a different tactic to calm her down. I've tried being vague, I've tried shouting, how about...

"It's because I lov---"

WOAH. No bay in hell. She's already giving me a confused look. She definitely heard the first part of that syllable. I need to distract her. But how? How do I usually distract people?

I took her face in with a hand on both her cheeks and pulled her into a kiss. This kiss was different from the one I gave her on the fence and it wasn't because this one involved tongue. Oh no...this kiss was meant to spell out the words I couldn't say. This kiss conveyed my desire, my desperation, my fury and...my love for this farmer girl. A human managed to steal my heart so I see this as collecting a measly sum for the property I just gave her.

A minute or so must have passed before I broke our little pact and upon opening my eyes and getting off my toes, I was greeted with a shocked expression. Can't imagine why. All I did was...steal the lips of a farmer girl in a God-fearing village.

Cod, I'm so freaking stupid.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled before I dashed out the door, ignoring both Molly calling my name and the annoying stinging feeling in my eyes as I headed back to the shore. Wiping my eyes, the last person I wanted to see stepped out the water with her gaudy dragon-cane.

"Hello Heiress, how is every little thing that you haven't destroyed?" Terezi greeted with a smug smirk, a smug aura and an even more smug pose as she balanced herself on her cane in relaxing pose. This girl infuriates me in ways an ex can only dream of.

"How totally not unpleasant to see you again, Pyrope." I sniffled a bit after that but I refused to let that throw off my momentum. "You've been making yourself scarce."

"Not so much making myself hidden as it is a certain future empress has been avoiding me." She raised an eyebrow at me. "I remember being summoned one day and then you just...vanish?"

"You and your clearly made up accusations will have to wait." I began to stomp back into the water. "We have a war to stop..."

"There's going to be a war?" The voice I least wanted to hear in that moment was heard right behind me. I turned to see Molly walking right up to here.

"Molly!" I shouted, my tone showing both pleasant surprise and necessary fury. "What are you doing here? Terezi could have torn your head off!"

"Uh...?" Terezi agreed.

"Is this war why you have to leave? Can I...maybe I can help you stop it?" Her feet were soaked as she approached me.

"That doesn't seem very feasible considering---"

"What are you doing here, Molly?" I cut off Terezi to get straight to the facts. "I can't believe you followed me here after...after what I just did."

"Please don't tell me you two are cavorting like Kanaya with her witch." Terezi pinched the bridge of her nose. "Did humans get better smelling asses or what?"

"Feferi, you can't do...that and just leave. You can't ask that stuff without an explanation. You can't..." She stepped closer, seeming so small despite towering over me. "...You can't make me feel this way and just run off."

"Oh God..." Terezi muttered but I REFUSE to let her ruin this for me.

"What are you saying?" I asked, not taking my eyes off hers.

"I'm saying...I'm going to Hell."

"No you're fucking not!" Terezi chimed back.

"Shut up, Pyrope!" I screeched back.

"I don't mean NOW. I mean when I die." Molly clarified.

"Why?" I asked. "Is it because you're witchborn? Or is it because you ate something from there? I don't remember bringing you any seeds but if I did I am SO shorey and I know a method that can make you barf up---"

"It's because I fell in love with a demon!" Molly shouted, her cheeks flaring up. "And if Hell has more demons like the one in front of me, it honestly doesn't sound like that bad of a place."

"Okay, that's enough of that. Feferi, let's get back through the portal so we can clean up your oh God dammit." Terezi was probably commenting on my immediate embrace of Molly but I honestly don't care at this point. Both worlds could catch fire at this point and I would barely notice. I'm wrapped in the arms of the girl I love. The girl loves me back. No matter what happens, it's all gravy compared to this moment. This moment where Terezi has shoved her cane in between us in a futile attempt to pry us apart.

"Whatever the hell is happening here, it'll have to wait. Time is of the essence if you want to prevent this place from getting overrun with the..."us"-folk."

I managed to pull myself away from Molly without letting go of her. "That's right. Molly, go back to Gert's house and tell her to get ready for me to stop by. I've got an important announcement."

"Alright...but what are you going to do before then?" Molly inquired.

"Me?" I gave her a serious look. "I've got to make a deal with the worst devil..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally...  
> Now where the hell is Vriska?


	14. A Negoseation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi has to meet with the one person who can turn the tide of battle: The Serket!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we're back. And we'll be leaving even sooner. Merry Christmas!

"Vriska."

"Rahab."

I really did not like having to meet with Serket, especially in what she deemed her own domain. The constant deluge of Styx should feel like home to me but knowing that it's where this wannabe-elder calls her home makes every trip feel like a chore.

"I like what you've done with the place." I said, gesturing to the moisture-caked walls around us. "Really brings out the...color?"

"Oh, shut up _heiress_. Tell me the real reason why you're showing up here or I'll...ignore you. Yeah. Try to have that on your track record."

You see what I mean? She knows what that'll do to me. She's being unreasonable! 

"Vriska, I came here because I need your help. I heard through the grapevine that the Elders were planning on putting you on the frontlines for the assault on the surface."

"That's right. Imagine, the Elders trust me so much they want me fronting their entire army." She beamed with excitement. "It's about time I started getting some respect around here!"

"Yeah, that's totally the reason they're putting you up front." I sighed. "Listen, I was wondering if you could delay the troops for a bit until Nepeta comes over to give you a signal."

"Uh-huh...and I'm doing that why?"

"Your heiress doesn't want a war and you're going to help me prevent it."

"Oh yeah? And what happened to the Rahab who used to love the smell of the battlefield?" She gave me a weird eye. "Rumor, and by rumor I mean what you're thinking right now, has it that you've fallen for a human."

I raised an eyebrow. "Is a supposed rumor all you have over me? Do I need to go into your row of crushes?"

Vriska glared at me. "Alright Feferi..."

"From Tavros to Karkat to Kanaya and, if actual rumors has it, Terezi. Then there's your recent target, a certain excitable cat girl..."

"FINE!" She stomped her foot and I swear, the floor rippled like a puddle. "I'll delay the army for your stupid Earth ho."

"Waterful! And don't call her a ho." I turned to leave and Vriska seemed oddly put out.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"I have to make a quick stop by a psychopomp's office to gather some information...I need to know why the king started this witchhunt (for demons)...and I think I have a clue why."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. Hopefully the Aradia in the next one will balance it out.


	15. Psychopomp and Circumstance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi meets with Aradia for a rundown on the queen's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Been a while since I've seen your...lack of faces. Anyway, enjoy another short chapter.

Okay, so...how did I get here?

Oh, it's real simple. You just fall asleep in the void between the nexus that connects all realities together and you walk to Cerebus and rub his belly for a bit and then you push open the gates of Dis that he was guarding for that week and then...

You find yourself seated in a lavish playroom, being poured tea by your good friend Aradia.

"Feferi...or should I call you Rahab? That's a much cooler name, by the way." Aradia grinned as she topped off my cup.

"Not sure if I should take that as a compliment, but I will." I took a sip. Suutei Tsai. My favorite. "I hate to disappoint you Aradia but I have ulterior motives for holding a tea party today."

"Oh trust me, I know. We used to have tea time all the...well, time before you became more politicized. Now it's always when you have a problem or when Sollux says something mean or when there has been another unscheduled genocide." She sighed as she poured herself a cup. "How is Sollux by the way?"

"Ornery and overworked. Listen, I need information on a particular mortal." I watched her tilt her head at me, already looking at me with a quizzitive expression.

"Is it the girl you've been spending so much time with? Because I don't tend to focus on the living..."

"It's not her. It's her queen...well, her former queen."

At the moment, books began to spin in a circle above our head as Aradia tapped her foot to think. A particularly thick one levitated down to her hand which she then placed on the table to flip open.

"Let's see, the ruler above is Egbert, long reign, next in line is John...ah! Here we go. Ivelisse Egbert. Princess from a completely different landmass, came here to escape restrictive upbringing, classic romance..."

"Can we skip to how she died?" That did sound like an interesting story but I'm not interested in hearing the love story between a mortal man and a woman.

"Geez! Just trying to set the mood." She turned a page and raised an eyebrow. "Oh my..."

"What? What is it?" I leaned forward in anticipation.

"Her cause of death...she was killed by a troublemaker among your ranks. You might know him as...Jack Noir?"

"That hellhound on two legs? We had him executed for attracting too much attention apparently."

"Yeah, and it was because of stuff like this." She blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Anyway, they're both dead."

"And now I know why the king hates demons." I took another sip from my cup. "Aradia, the other reason I met with you is that you don't fall under the elder's jurisdiction. What we talk about doesn't leave this room."

"Trust me, my lips are sealed. I have my own people to report back to so I know the feeling."

I got up and walked over to give her a big squeeze. "You nutty grim reaper. I'll come back for a real tea party soon."

She smiled back. "Don't be a stranger. I don't want to have to pick you up the hard way."

With a peck on her cheek, I headed for the doors. I can't believe that for the first time in my life as an heiress, I will have to put a lot of energy into _preventing_ a war...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, the real show begins...


	16. Here Comes The Flood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi meets back up with Molly and they discuss their future. Or rather, their lack of one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn meased to pleet ya. I'm back to drop some more droplets on your head. Time to head back to the surface!

I ran out of the water as soon as I was able to find footing on the surface. Tearing through the forest while feeling the foliage crack under my feet, it wasn't long before I came upon a familiar farm. And, much to my pleasure, the familiar sight of a tall girl tending to a cow in front of a small house. I dashed past the gate, barely giving Molly enough time to stand up before I jumped into her arms.

"Feferi...I guessed you missed me, huh?" How dare she. I leave for a day and she implies that she wasn't on my mind the entire time? Someone should teach her a lesson. And that terrible tutor will be me pressing my lips to hers as Tiffany the cow looks and moos with what I assume is approval.

Separating after a few seconds, I smiled up at her. "Did you manage to talk to Gert?"

"I managed." She answered. "Do you want to come inside?"

"Even though it means missing out on Tiffany's treasured company, I want nothing more." She grinned at me before leading me inside her hut. It was a bit cramped as always but the whole space less dusty. She had tidied up before I arrived. Even on the surface, someone will go out of their way to make me feel like royalty.

She sat me at a table with my side containing a bowl of stew. "It's chicken...I got one from the market because I didn't want to use any of my own. It's fine if you're not hungry, I can just---"

I couldn't hear her because I was already gobbling up my meal. The pepper crackled on my tongue as chewed up the potatoes and the breasts which was all washed down by the broth. I haven't had a meal this good since Gl'bgolyb would fix me kelp salads mixed with shark eyes.

"Do you like it?" She asked, snapping me out of my memories.

"I glubbing love it!" I grinned back at her. She started to laugh and only then did I realize that was celery all over my teeth.

"I still...I still don't know how it works..." She was still recovering from laughing as she spoke.

"I mean, there's no rush if you're nervous. When the time comes and you're ready, I will take all the time you need to teach you how to please a wo---"

"No, I meant I don't know how love works...at all." She stared at the table for a bit before continuing. "I know from the stories Karolina would tell me about princes rescuing princesses that love means wanting to save someone...or maybe it just means winning someone...I don't think I've seen a real love story until recently with the witch and the vampire..."

I wondered about her perception of Nico and Karolina's relationship briefly before I finally asked, "What do you think love is?"

"I know that I'm always happy the instant I see...I feel warmer when you're around even if it's cold out...I feel like I'm important every time I talk with you and...and..."

"And?"

"...I feel like I didn't really know what a prince feels like when he sees a princess until I met you."

My gills flushed purplish red when I heard that. This is the one being I met who can make me feel like more than royalty. She makes me feel like...I'm back in Gl'bgolyb's embrace.

"Molly, I...wait! Prince! Did you talk to John yesterday?"

"Yeah. I told him that after thinking about it, I couldn't accept his proposal." She sighed. "He asked if it was his teeth, his cowlick or his weird way of enunciating his "un"s...but I told him that I couldn't betray my feelings for someone else."

"Oh Molly..."

"Gert said I should have just accepted the proposal and placed my lover on the throne after I overthrew the monarchy...she said that after he left of course. But she said something else that really worried me..."

"What? Is this one about our horns? Because again, when the time is right---"

"Feferi, how long do demons live?"

I thought for a bit longer than was comfortable before answering, "Depends on the demon."

"Well, how long will you live?"

"...For a very long time. Longer than you think."

"Will you get bored of me when I'm older and you're still so...you?" She looked legitimately fearful for the first time I saw her. Every night as I dozed off to sleep, I wondered the same thing myself. But one small tidbit kept me from believing it.

"The trees in the forest...the sky above us...the stories we hang onto, they're all older than both of us and we love them all the same, right?"

She gave a radiant smile. "Yes."

I reached across the table to grab her hand. "I'm not letting go of a human this interesting, no matter how she gets. No matter what happens, I'll always be by your side. Agreed?"

She held my hand back. "Agreed."

"Now...shall we head to Gert's to save the kingdom?"

"Yeah...I'll feed the leftovers to the chickens."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of that chapter. Stay tuned.


	17. Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi tells us her plan and...something gets in the way of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, I chose the wrong time to go on a bender. Thanks for waiting an extended period but it's go time now.

"What do you mean my plan won't work?!" I demanded of Nico as she poured hot water into her cup. Here I was, thinking that I was going to get support from a witch on my attempt change the mind of an entire monarchy but Nico won't even humor my brilliant scheme. I have to say, she and Karolina are being very rude to their guests.

"The king has been ruling this land for decades, Feferi. There is no way he's going to change his position on a race of creatures that he blames for the death of his wife due to...ugh..."trial by champion"." Nico drunk from her cup with an un-amused expression. If she would just look at it from my point of view...

"Not to come off as prejudiced but I doubt that anyone the king could produce will be able to stand up to me or Molly in combat..." I placed one hand on Molly's shoulder as she sat next to me, more playing with her soup than eating it. "All we have to do is win to gain an audience then---"

"I'm going to stop you right there." Karolina spoke up for the first time since I've been here. "We don't just need to gain an audience with the king but we need to find a way to stop your people from going ahead with the invasion. It'll be pretty awkward for Rose and Kanaya if their races were at war with each other."

"It won't be just awkward for them..." Molly mumbled...and Nico still managed to hear her.

"What does that mean? Don't tell me you two---" She began to gripe before I interrupted her.

"Okay fine! Molly and I have embarked on a voyage of forbidden romance. Are you happy to have dragged it out of us now?!" I took Molly's hand and held it. "I don't know what the future holds for our relationship but I care about her and she has made it clear that she cares about me. Is that not enough?"

Nico appeared annoyed by my outburst before just sighing. Karolina, on the other hand, just smiled.

"Believe me, no one understands your situation more than us." She placed a hand on Nico's shoulder. "Nico and I have been together for years regardless of what any man or creature might think."

Wait, those two are together? Huh. You think I might have picked on that earlier.

"Putting that aside, it doesn't fix the fact that we're without a plan and we're on the cusp of a war." Nico placed her hand on top of Karolina's.

"I might have an idea..." said Molly quietly.

"You do? Do tell!" I shook her shoulder hoping that will get the answer out of her sooner.

"It's simple really. We just need to have a conversation with the royal family...excluding the king."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's interesting. Wonder what she's up to...

**Author's Note:**

> I can't wait to almost violently shoehorn in the other characters. I'll keep you posted!


End file.
